Hey, remember when I updated my blog.
LOLZ.
(I hate when people say LOLZ)
Monday, April 27, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Sunday
Heres another Sunday post.
FUCK SUNDAY!!!
Sorry I had to use that language but tough times call for swearing.
The Sunday Sleepeys, as mentioned a week ago, are back, and in full force.
The Sunday Sleepeys are on the prowl, so watch out!
Thats my public service for the day.
But seriously.
Last week I didn't inform you nearly enough about how dangerous the Sleepeys can be.
So dangerous I can't even begin to explain because they are watching, and attacking me as I type.
FUCK SUNDAY!!!
Sorry I had to use that language but tough times call for swearing.
The Sunday Sleepeys, as mentioned a week ago, are back, and in full force.
The Sunday Sleepeys are on the prowl, so watch out!
Thats my public service for the day.
But seriously.
Last week I didn't inform you nearly enough about how dangerous the Sleepeys can be.
So dangerous I can't even begin to explain because they are watching, and attacking me as I type.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Damnit.
Heres another one of my "I hate people" posts.
What bothers me so much about people I dont know...well...other than EVERYTHING, is just...ahh.
I bugs me to even begin thinking about it just because I hate people so much in every way.
Strangers sitting next to you.
Its so horrible even when you are in a crowded place and they are just doing their own thing and sitting there, usually coughing or doing something. But what's worse is that some dumbasses take a seat next to you even though there is like 10 other seats far away from you that are open. They for some reason decide to sit right next to you and...ahh...
It just bothers me so much. This blog entry is terrible...it has no direction and is frustrating to read...which I did purposely so you as a reader can feel my frustration.
And what the hell is with all the ... in this article. And me saying ahhh. Thats happening alot.
**** this entry.
What bothers me so much about people I dont know...well...other than EVERYTHING, is just...ahh.
I bugs me to even begin thinking about it just because I hate people so much in every way.
Strangers sitting next to you.
Its so horrible even when you are in a crowded place and they are just doing their own thing and sitting there, usually coughing or doing something. But what's worse is that some dumbasses take a seat next to you even though there is like 10 other seats far away from you that are open. They for some reason decide to sit right next to you and...ahh...
It just bothers me so much. This blog entry is terrible...it has no direction and is frustrating to read...which I did purposely so you as a reader can feel my frustration.
And what the hell is with all the ... in this article. And me saying ahhh. Thats happening alot.
**** this entry.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Why Arrested Development is the best show on tv.
Hello blog readers. This post is a copy of an essay that I wrote about why arrested development is the best show on television. Whether you love it, or hate it, this article will hopefully prove to you why it is the best show that ever was, or ever will be. To those of you who were drawn to this article through digg, please read some of my other posts and maybe you will be attracted to this blog and read it regularly. Most likely not though.
Right...so here is...my essay. Enjoy.
The worst show ever to hit your TV.
Let me start by saying the title of this essay is sarcastic, and if you don’t like looking like an idiot by not knowing that, or you just have no sense of humor in general, then Arrested Development is definitely not a show you would enjoy. Now that I got that out of the way, and you are still reading this, good job, you just took the first step in finding out why Arrested Development is exactly the opposite of what the of this essay suggests. Arrested Development is a character-driven comedy that made its debut on November 2, 2003, and ended shortly after on February 10th, 2006, after only 53 episodes on the air. Although the show was treated worse by the network than a red-headed stepchild, it has gathered a huge cult following and is now being turned in to a feature film. During its run on television, Arrested Development managed to become widely regarded as the best television show of all time in many critics’ eyes. The show won six Emmy Awards, including Outstanding Comedy Series. It also received twenty Emmy nominations as well as one Golden Globe and a spot on Time Magazine’s 100 best TV shows of all time, a pretty big accomplishment for a show which only lasted 53 episodes. Arrested Development challenged the rules of television, constantly breaking the mold of what people expected in a TV show, and arguably changed television forever. The show ignored the format of the traditional half hour comedy, making it better in every way, and wasn’t afraid to take whatever risks they felt necessary. Its amazing cast made even the most absurd characters seems believable, and above all else, its incredible plot and constantly entertaining writing made Arrested Development the best show to ever grace our air waves……….hands down.
Whether you are a devoted fan of Arrested Development, or have only seen an episode or two, the acting constantly stands out as one of the show’s shining achievements. The cast of Arrested Development, whether they were famous before it began, or were nobody important, have all moved on to become huge stars. Most notably is Michael Cera, whose audition tape was flown in to Fox, and was later picked to play the roll of George-Michael. Since being cast in Arrested Development, Michael Cera has moved on to become a breakout star, being cast in blockbuster movies such as Superbad. Jason Bateman, although somewhat of a star before the show’s run, also moved on to become a huge star along with fellow cast-mate Will Arnett. The creator of the show, Mitch Hurwitz, had 3 weeks to put the cast together, and although he said “There’s no way to get this cast right….it’s impossible….they’re all such hard parts to cast.” The cast was chosen, and Mitch Hurwitz never looked back. “In every case, one person was right for the role. They’re so good.” One of the main challenges of a character driven comedy is….well….the characters. The cast of Arrested Development does such an amazing job playing a believable family, that as a viewer, you ignore how completely repulsive, and un-relatable these characters would be on their own. The cast of Arrested Development plays their roles so well, that if you were to see them in the street you would no doubt expect them to utter one of their famous catchphrases, or have the exact same personality that they have on the show. As well as the main cast, the supporting cast and guest stars were always entertaining, and were never afraid to poke fun at themselves as long as it meant a laugh. Famous actors from Julia Louis-Dreyfus, to Charlize Theron have guest starred on the show and have all helped in contributing to what makes this show amazing. The guest stars were never afraid to joke about themselves or previous work they have done. During a guest appearance from Dan Castellaneta, the man who does the voice for Homer in “The Simpsons”, he said Homer’s famous catchphrase “D’oh.”, which immediately helped me to identify him as the voice of Homer, and caused a laugh. Another example of this subtle humor that only people aware of the actors who play these roles would understand, is when the main character, Michael, was on a date with his supposed British girlfriend Rita, played by Charlize Theron (who is American) The couple had just gone out to see a movie when Rita remarks, “I hate it when they hire Yanks to play Brits, you can always tell.” It’s these subtle lines of comedy that make the show rewarding and constantly entertaining to watch. On top of all this, each of the characters, including the series narrator, played by Ron Howard, has something unique and interesting to bring to the table. From Jason Bateman’s portrayal of the righteous, level headed son, to Will Arnett’s overly dramatic (and horrible) magician, to David Cross’ always hilarious physical humor and dialogue that can be mistaken as meaning many different things, the characters, and the actors who play them, can carry this show on their own, even if you disregard every other amazing aspect of this show.
Although I could write forever about the acting, there are still so many aspects of this show that made it the best show on television, and still the best to this day. One of the major things that made Arrested Development the amazing show that it was, was its ability to take whatever risks the creators felt necessary, to make a constantly entertaining television show. There were risks, like controversial jokes, such as “My husband is dying, I’ll get all the attention, like superman’s wife got.”, as well as risks like having more swearing than any other show on network television. On top of all this there were highly controversial themes in the plot, such as incest, and the war in Iraq. Perhaps the main risk the creators of the show had to take was the specific presentation and style of the show, in regards to it finding loyal viewers, and keeping its ratings up enough to survive. The creators took a huge risk when choosing to make a show with such un-relatable characters, as well as a plot that can only be understood by the most loyal viewers, and a format that is best understood when watched on DVD ”back to back to back”. To the average TV watcher, all these factors may seem like huge flaws, and probably are if you don’t watch the show regularly or don’t appreciate television other than as a source for repetitive reality shows, and sitcoms that don’t require you to think or use your mind in any way other than keeping your eyes open long enough to see who was voted off whatever island some strangers are stranded on this particular season. However, to someone who likes smart comedies, and actually having a reason to watch a show every week and be constantly entertained by hilarious call backs to other episodes, or jokes that only a loyal viewer would understand, all the aforementioned “flaws”, such as un-relatable characters, a confusing plot, and a format best enjoyed when watched back to back, are actually the shows biggest strengths. Another huge risk for the creators of the show was the choice of not having a laugh track. Mitch Hurwitz’s decision to not include laughing after jokes “allows you to take lines that otherwise might be seen as just direct jokes, and make them seem realistic.” The narrator of the show is something not prevalent in most television shows, and ties the plot together as well as being a major source of entertainment. This feature also informs the viewer, and clears up any confusion about what the characters have just said.
Lindsay: “Wasn’t she on the cover of Newsweek?”
Michael: “Yes!”
Narrator: “She was not.”
Another big risk for the show was its constant use of “archive footage” to help tie together plot threads, and add a new layer of comedy just for comic relief. The over-arching plot and the way each new story was tightly related by something that happened in an earlier episode made the show everything that it was. Had these risks not been taken, Arrested Development may still be on television, but it wouldn’t be worth mentioning, watching, or doing a major summative assignment on. Risks were what made Arrested Development great, and allowed every part of the show to work perfectly together. Without risks on Arrested Development, there truly would be no reward.
Right...so here is...my essay. Enjoy.
The worst show ever to hit your TV.
Let me start by saying the title of this essay is sarcastic, and if you don’t like looking like an idiot by not knowing that, or you just have no sense of humor in general, then Arrested Development is definitely not a show you would enjoy. Now that I got that out of the way, and you are still reading this, good job, you just took the first step in finding out why Arrested Development is exactly the opposite of what the of this essay suggests. Arrested Development is a character-driven comedy that made its debut on November 2, 2003, and ended shortly after on February 10th, 2006, after only 53 episodes on the air. Although the show was treated worse by the network than a red-headed stepchild, it has gathered a huge cult following and is now being turned in to a feature film. During its run on television, Arrested Development managed to become widely regarded as the best television show of all time in many critics’ eyes. The show won six Emmy Awards, including Outstanding Comedy Series. It also received twenty Emmy nominations as well as one Golden Globe and a spot on Time Magazine’s 100 best TV shows of all time, a pretty big accomplishment for a show which only lasted 53 episodes. Arrested Development challenged the rules of television, constantly breaking the mold of what people expected in a TV show, and arguably changed television forever. The show ignored the format of the traditional half hour comedy, making it better in every way, and wasn’t afraid to take whatever risks they felt necessary. Its amazing cast made even the most absurd characters seems believable, and above all else, its incredible plot and constantly entertaining writing made Arrested Development the best show to ever grace our air waves……….hands down.
Whether you are a devoted fan of Arrested Development, or have only seen an episode or two, the acting constantly stands out as one of the show’s shining achievements. The cast of Arrested Development, whether they were famous before it began, or were nobody important, have all moved on to become huge stars. Most notably is Michael Cera, whose audition tape was flown in to Fox, and was later picked to play the roll of George-Michael. Since being cast in Arrested Development, Michael Cera has moved on to become a breakout star, being cast in blockbuster movies such as Superbad. Jason Bateman, although somewhat of a star before the show’s run, also moved on to become a huge star along with fellow cast-mate Will Arnett. The creator of the show, Mitch Hurwitz, had 3 weeks to put the cast together, and although he said “There’s no way to get this cast right….it’s impossible….they’re all such hard parts to cast.” The cast was chosen, and Mitch Hurwitz never looked back. “In every case, one person was right for the role. They’re so good.” One of the main challenges of a character driven comedy is….well….the characters. The cast of Arrested Development does such an amazing job playing a believable family, that as a viewer, you ignore how completely repulsive, and un-relatable these characters would be on their own. The cast of Arrested Development plays their roles so well, that if you were to see them in the street you would no doubt expect them to utter one of their famous catchphrases, or have the exact same personality that they have on the show. As well as the main cast, the supporting cast and guest stars were always entertaining, and were never afraid to poke fun at themselves as long as it meant a laugh. Famous actors from Julia Louis-Dreyfus, to Charlize Theron have guest starred on the show and have all helped in contributing to what makes this show amazing. The guest stars were never afraid to joke about themselves or previous work they have done. During a guest appearance from Dan Castellaneta, the man who does the voice for Homer in “The Simpsons”, he said Homer’s famous catchphrase “D’oh.”, which immediately helped me to identify him as the voice of Homer, and caused a laugh. Another example of this subtle humor that only people aware of the actors who play these roles would understand, is when the main character, Michael, was on a date with his supposed British girlfriend Rita, played by Charlize Theron (who is American) The couple had just gone out to see a movie when Rita remarks, “I hate it when they hire Yanks to play Brits, you can always tell.” It’s these subtle lines of comedy that make the show rewarding and constantly entertaining to watch. On top of all this, each of the characters, including the series narrator, played by Ron Howard, has something unique and interesting to bring to the table. From Jason Bateman’s portrayal of the righteous, level headed son, to Will Arnett’s overly dramatic (and horrible) magician, to David Cross’ always hilarious physical humor and dialogue that can be mistaken as meaning many different things, the characters, and the actors who play them, can carry this show on their own, even if you disregard every other amazing aspect of this show.
Although I could write forever about the acting, there are still so many aspects of this show that made it the best show on television, and still the best to this day. One of the major things that made Arrested Development the amazing show that it was, was its ability to take whatever risks the creators felt necessary, to make a constantly entertaining television show. There were risks, like controversial jokes, such as “My husband is dying, I’ll get all the attention, like superman’s wife got.”, as well as risks like having more swearing than any other show on network television. On top of all this there were highly controversial themes in the plot, such as incest, and the war in Iraq. Perhaps the main risk the creators of the show had to take was the specific presentation and style of the show, in regards to it finding loyal viewers, and keeping its ratings up enough to survive. The creators took a huge risk when choosing to make a show with such un-relatable characters, as well as a plot that can only be understood by the most loyal viewers, and a format that is best understood when watched on DVD ”back to back to back”. To the average TV watcher, all these factors may seem like huge flaws, and probably are if you don’t watch the show regularly or don’t appreciate television other than as a source for repetitive reality shows, and sitcoms that don’t require you to think or use your mind in any way other than keeping your eyes open long enough to see who was voted off whatever island some strangers are stranded on this particular season. However, to someone who likes smart comedies, and actually having a reason to watch a show every week and be constantly entertained by hilarious call backs to other episodes, or jokes that only a loyal viewer would understand, all the aforementioned “flaws”, such as un-relatable characters, a confusing plot, and a format best enjoyed when watched back to back, are actually the shows biggest strengths. Another huge risk for the creators of the show was the choice of not having a laugh track. Mitch Hurwitz’s decision to not include laughing after jokes “allows you to take lines that otherwise might be seen as just direct jokes, and make them seem realistic.” The narrator of the show is something not prevalent in most television shows, and ties the plot together as well as being a major source of entertainment. This feature also informs the viewer, and clears up any confusion about what the characters have just said.
Lindsay: “Wasn’t she on the cover of Newsweek?”
Michael: “Yes!”
Narrator: “She was not.”
Another big risk for the show was its constant use of “archive footage” to help tie together plot threads, and add a new layer of comedy just for comic relief. The over-arching plot and the way each new story was tightly related by something that happened in an earlier episode made the show everything that it was. Had these risks not been taken, Arrested Development may still be on television, but it wouldn’t be worth mentioning, watching, or doing a major summative assignment on. Risks were what made Arrested Development great, and allowed every part of the show to work perfectly together. Without risks on Arrested Development, there truly would be no reward.
Sunday
So yesterday was sunday.
Wow, this blog is informative.
"thanks jacob, i had no clue."
Anyways, I was making a point before you rudely interrupted me.
Sorry, for the infrequent posts, but I need people to read this, which is why I am asking EVERY PERSON who reads this to comment below.
Anyways, back to the subject.
Sunday.
Sunday sucks.
Theres this thing I like to call the "sunday sleepeys". Its the disgusting feeling you get on Sunday where you are constantly tired no matter what you do, and although it is the last day of the weekend and you want to enjoy it, its almost impossible. You know that no matter what you do the dreaded day is coming where you have to go back to work/school. So on top of the fact that Sunday is just terrible, there are the "sunday sleepeys". They attack you like a virus and no matter how many tylenols or advils you take there is nothing that can conquer them except monday, which is a whole different kind of sleepey. One may call them the "monday sleepeys", however, I do not. So the sunday sleepeys attack your central nervous system first and no matter what you are doing, you will end up falling asleep on a couch. You will wake up at various times knowing you have to wake up so you can enjoy your Sunday (which is impossible), but you will no doubt roll over and go back to sleep. The sleepeys make you feel terrible while you are sleeping, and even worse when you wake up, which is why I will even go so far as to devote a new paragraph to this.
The sleepys attack you worse when you wake up. First of all, no matter where you fall asleep, you will always wake up warm and uncomfortable. You will feel like you have been sweating even though you probably haven't. Your face will also feel like it has a big couch pillow shaped dent in it for about 3 hours after you wake up.
Holy crap, Two and a Half men is on in the next room, and that "half a man" is ******* old! He started out being a kid but now hes like 26 and he has his own kids. What a terrible show.
Anyways, sorry to go off topic, I just thought people needed to know.
So back to the sleepys. In conclusion, they suck.
So tell me your opinions and thoughts and comments and questions in the below part, or wherever you put them.
Wow, this blog is informative.
"thanks jacob, i had no clue."
Anyways, I was making a point before you rudely interrupted me.
Sorry, for the infrequent posts, but I need people to read this, which is why I am asking EVERY PERSON who reads this to comment below.
Anyways, back to the subject.
Sunday.
Sunday sucks.
Theres this thing I like to call the "sunday sleepeys". Its the disgusting feeling you get on Sunday where you are constantly tired no matter what you do, and although it is the last day of the weekend and you want to enjoy it, its almost impossible. You know that no matter what you do the dreaded day is coming where you have to go back to work/school. So on top of the fact that Sunday is just terrible, there are the "sunday sleepeys". They attack you like a virus and no matter how many tylenols or advils you take there is nothing that can conquer them except monday, which is a whole different kind of sleepey. One may call them the "monday sleepeys", however, I do not. So the sunday sleepeys attack your central nervous system first and no matter what you are doing, you will end up falling asleep on a couch. You will wake up at various times knowing you have to wake up so you can enjoy your Sunday (which is impossible), but you will no doubt roll over and go back to sleep. The sleepeys make you feel terrible while you are sleeping, and even worse when you wake up, which is why I will even go so far as to devote a new paragraph to this.
The sleepys attack you worse when you wake up. First of all, no matter where you fall asleep, you will always wake up warm and uncomfortable. You will feel like you have been sweating even though you probably haven't. Your face will also feel like it has a big couch pillow shaped dent in it for about 3 hours after you wake up.
Holy crap, Two and a Half men is on in the next room, and that "half a man" is ******* old! He started out being a kid but now hes like 26 and he has his own kids. What a terrible show.
Anyways, sorry to go off topic, I just thought people needed to know.
So back to the sleepys. In conclusion, they suck.
So tell me your opinions and thoughts and comments and questions in the below part, or wherever you put them.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Alright so I really need some readers (other than people I know) to read this blog so I can feel like there is a reason to write in it. I know once the novelty of having a blog wears off (like it did 5 days ago), I will stop writing in it (like I did 4 days ago). I felt like I needed to put something in however so here we go.
I have little to nothing to say, but as much as I want to just end the post here, I must continue.
Yea, I got nothing.
Umm...
yeaaa....
sorry, out of ideas.
Talk later (maybe)
Bye
I have little to nothing to say, but as much as I want to just end the post here, I must continue.
Yea, I got nothing.
Umm...
yeaaa....
sorry, out of ideas.
Talk later (maybe)
Bye
Friday, March 13, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Post #0/#2. I hate people!
Ok so I was thinking of writing an entry right now, and I know this technically counts as an entry, but for arguments sake lets say it isnt.
I'm in a slow class right now and since I don't need to learn about calculating the distace between a plane and the ground in relation to....
EWWWW!!!
Someone behind me just blew their nose. I feel like its my obligation to go up to them and punch them right in the face.
Which actually brings me to my first and only topic, which means that this is an entry and I lied a few paragraphs above.
People. I hate them so much. If I'm not friends with you, then you just don't need to be around and you can stay in your house or whatever the hell it is you do. I don't need to be bothered with you leaving disgusting crap all over the place, and coughing on me, and just walking down the hall pisses me off.
So to all the people living their lives that I don't know.
JUST STOP!
And thats my entry for now.
Talk to you later,
(I speak to you like you are my friend even though most likely I would hate you if I saw you)
Jacob
I'm in a slow class right now and since I don't need to learn about calculating the distace between a plane and the ground in relation to....
EWWWW!!!
Someone behind me just blew their nose. I feel like its my obligation to go up to them and punch them right in the face.
Which actually brings me to my first and only topic, which means that this is an entry and I lied a few paragraphs above.
People. I hate them so much. If I'm not friends with you, then you just don't need to be around and you can stay in your house or whatever the hell it is you do. I don't need to be bothered with you leaving disgusting crap all over the place, and coughing on me, and just walking down the hall pisses me off.
So to all the people living their lives that I don't know.
JUST STOP!
And thats my entry for now.
Talk to you later,
(I speak to you like you are my friend even though most likely I would hate you if I saw you)
Jacob
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Blog #1!
Hello.
This is the infamous blog #1 that I talked about with such high regard. Its 11:00pm here in my home of Toronto, Canada. And its that time of night where I'm tired and I want to go to sleep, but I also don't even want to get up and take the necessary steps to go to sleep. So most likely I will be sitting on this couch for another 30 minutes until I just use all my final energy for the day and take those 30 or so steps up the stairs and into my bedroom.
It's a hard life.
It's that point in the night where I am thinking about all the things that I need to accomplish in the coming days and weeks, and all the things that I have to remember that happened during the day. This all equates to me coming up with nothing however, and I end up going to sleep and doing the same thing all over again the next day.
Days get blurred together during the week. Things that happened don't happen on a daily basis, and instead they just happen sometime in the last few weeks, during that 5 day time span when school is going on and no one knows what the hell is going on.
I'm trying to set a tone of confusion in this blog, so you know how I feel right now. Nothing is bad, just confusing, and tiring.
My wrist is resting against my laptop and weirdly rubbing against it in a way that feels odd.
First of all, while reviewing that sentence, it had no purpose and wasn't very well crafted.
Secondly, my wrist really does feel weird.
Third of least (thats not right), I just realized once and for all how to spell weird.
Turns out its e before i, because nothing they ever teach you in grade 2 is correct, but usually it relates more to real life than the things that I am currently learning in high school. Things like, the equation of how to find out when a ball will hit the ground if it is dropped from a certain distance. Heres an idea, instead of calculating when it will hit the ground, why don't you drop the calculator and pen, run over to the ball, and catch it. The reason you had no friends in school is because rather than playing ball you were calculating when it would hit the ground. Jerk.
Well, I promised that I wouldn't talk about my day like other douches in blogs, unless I didn't promise that, in which case, I promise it now.
So now I am going to sign off for the night, even though I will most likely sit here until I muster up the strength to walk up the stairs.
Ahh, I just re-adjusted my position on the couch and it feels better. So the 30 minutes I will stay here sitting lazily will turn in to 40 minutes...at least.
Well, thats all for today, honestly this time.
Oooooh, wait.
I just spelled honestly wrong, and when I right clicked to correct it, one of the options was "learn spelling". Is my computer making fun of me?
I feel hurt and betrayed.
Oh well, I have some serious sitting to do.
Good night.
Talk to you tomorrow.
Post #0.1. A little intro about this blog.
Hi. This is blog #0.1. Throughout the course of this blog I will try to entertain, inform, and...funny. That makes no sense. Lets try again.
Hello, My name is Jacob. This is my first entry on a blog and I hope that you will become a regular reader of my blog. Now I know what you are thinking. "Hey, it's a douche with a blog who thinks he's funny and has a blog on blogger along with every other douche in the entire world." Well, hey, at least I'm not the one reading some douche's blog on blogger thinking shit to myself.
Oops, I just made you look like a fool. Probably not the first thing that I should try to do when trying to attract loyal readers to this blog.
Well anyways, if you like what you see and want more to come (I will try to update daily, or more than daily) then please bookmark me and send me to your friends.
Trust me, I get funnier with time (also, another douche comment, I know).
A bit about myself and the future of this blog:
I will comment about Lost a lot, its a show I constantly criticize but still wouldn't miss an episode. I also love the office and how i met your mother. There will be lots of TV related things. I also like movies, and I hate most things in the world, there will be a lot of criticisms of things, but its ok because I am always right, therefore your point of view is untrue and therefore invalid.
Thanks for reading, my "first" post will be along soon.
Please continue reading my blog.
Thanks,
Jacob
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